MySpace Killers

 On Wednesday the 29^th of June, Specific Media Inc. concluded a deal to buy MySpace for a mere $35 million dollars from News Corp.

The deal included $35million dollars and 5% stake in Specific Media shares. This is a drop in the ocean compared to the $580 million dollars News Corp paid for MySpace in 2006. Another interesting fact about this fire sale is the fact that Justin Timberlake is also involved in the deal. What JT knows about running a social network is still a mystery to everyone. Maybe all the time on the set of “The Social Network” taught him a thing or two about running a “real” social networking website. We can only sit back and wait for the outcome of this deal. In my opinion this is just another bad deal that might put the final nail in MySpace’s coffin.

People are quick to say Facebook was what brought about the demise of MySpace but I disagree. Facebook did not in any way start out to be a competitor or a MySpace killer. I am tempted to say that as at the time Facebook went online Zukerberg did not consider MySpace a threat.

Assumptions aside, two things contributed immensely to the death of Myspace:

1: MONEY:  The First Version of MySpace was online sometime in August 2003 and only 3 years later media mogul Rupert Murdoch flashed $580 million big ones in the face of MySpace developers. It’s interesting however to note that Murdoch, prior to purchasing MySpace has had little or nothing to do with social media, albeit he was head honcho at News Corp. So how MySpace developers decided going into business with a 70+ year old man still baffles me. Credit must however be giving to Murdoch/News Corp move to buy MySpace as this is the very reason why social media is seen as big business today.

Just a few months after purchasing MySpace Murdoch said on the street that MySpace revenue would generate revenue of over $1billion dollars. This was probably when the trouble started. The pressure was on, and engineers and the entire MySpace team were working tirelessly to make sure this target was met. In retrospect, Murdoch really didn’t speak out of turn because at the time, MySpace was doing insane numbers and they seemed unstoppable.

Conspiracy theorists; me included, have come up with a reason why Murdoch was interested in MySpace in the first place. Long before the Myspace deal, Murdoch had a string of unsuccessful Internet investments. Delphi: An internet service provider and iguide. All failed. Why then did he decide to buy MySpace? I think the reason was MySpace user data base. That user data would have been a useful tool in News Corp’s marketing and now that he’s gotten what he wanted out of MySpace, it’s no longer useful.

P.S I’m just saying!! Don’t quote me o! I don’t want to be smuggled into the back of a black limo with a bag over my head!

GOOGLE: Whilst Facebook was fine tuning its code, user platform and all other geekness that makes a site run, MySpace was looking for more money. Enter Google; The Google boys decided to sign a $900 million dollar sole adverting deal with MySpace, who in all sense of the word was still a “startup” at the time. This in itself is the very reason why your MySpace pages loaded so slowly and was always having some “unexpected error”

The deal required a certain number of MySpace user page visits for Murdoch and his team to receive the agreed $300 million dollars every year for the next 3 years. Hence the introduction of unnecessary pages and banners. Notice how you have to click and click and click just to send a message? So for every page you load it’s a new ad and another and another. This deal prevented developers from fine tuning the site and getting rid of unnecessary pages for fear of losing revenue. All this while Facebook was gaining ground. By 2009 Facebook had grown to 77 million users while MySpace dropped to 68 million. The rest they say is history

P.S: when your favorite site suddenly adds an unwanted page just so you listen to music, or watch a video, something you did right there on the home page before,  you know why *cough* notjustok *cough*

Giving users the ability to create and design their own home pages with wallpapers, banners, music and video also contributed to the demise of Myspace. These users know little or nothing about code. They go on some website saying free MySpace layouts and copy the code on there and load it on to Myspace servers and add a video and music that plays as soon as you visit their page. Whilst all this is going on google is making sure you have some ad flashing on at least 3 spots on your screen.

The fact that MySpace did not keep up with growing trends in social networking also did not help matters. Case in point: Facebook newsfeed. It would take MySpace 2 years to implement that on their website and another 1year or there about to allow 3^rd party developers to create applications for their website. Which is a moot point as most of the applications have closed shop on MySpace.

In my opinion MySpace is a really bad investment and I don’t see the site recovering from this. If they try rebranding as a music focused social network. I think the combination of YouTube and Twitter would be hard to beat as artistes can interact with their fans and link to their songs on YouTube. So what exactly would be their game plan? Give Facebook a run for its money? LOL!

So the question remains: Are all social networking sites “Here today, Gone tomorrow?” Absolutely not! Facebook is doing a good job so far. They have avoided every mistake MySpace made and more and they are constantly keeping up with new ideas and keeping their platform very open. Hence the seemingly “extra friendly” relationship with twitter; the latter which seems to be the man around town these days. Facebook has kept things simple save for a few weird and annoying changes. They are constantly refining their user interface and making the site easier to use and faster to load.

As it is with any business, running a successful social network is all about sticking to the reason why you were so popular in the first place, letting your business grow gradually and not chasing big money so soon. This way you have the opportunity to make your mistakes on a smaller scale and learn from them.

 P.S: Google just launched its very own social network; Google+. Invites are scarce though. Remember the original Gmail invites? Something like that. Would keep you posted.

BET AWARDS 2011

The highly hyped  award show started off with the pre- show which was held outdoors in the scorching LA sun. With performances from Lloyd, who decided to give the ladies a taste of his scrawny chest , Miguel also did his thing, not forgetting Diggy Simons who had his first live stage performance and it was evident from his random, over energetic  dance moves and the NSYNC type dance routine closer.

The BET chairman/ CEO, debra Lee wore the ugliest dress of the night. Her dress was so horrible it actually made 106 n Park’s Rocsi’s “little torn white dress” look a whole lot better

I was in shock when I saw YC come on to perfom that barely audible racks on racks song. To make matters worse old man Nelly with no shame at all was on stage too screaming Racks on Racks on Racks. Gosh! How the might have fallen.

Finally the Award show started and Mary J Blige opened in a sexy white one piece and performed Real Love. As always she killed the performance. Anita  Baker and her hair joined her on stage and they performed “Rapture” together. Next thing you know we are hearing DJ Khaled screaming his head off, followed by Jadakiss and his highly baggy white pants  (who wears a baggy suit)spitting a few bars amidst  DJ khaled’s screaming. MJB took the chorus and I have no idea what that song was all about. Thanks for ruining an awesome performance Khaled. I appreciate.

Kevin Hart who was the host for the night finally makes an appearance  alongside some little kids doing a dance number to Lil Wayne’s “6 foot 7”. He then proceeded to roast on everyone on the audience. Starting with Busta Rhymes Jacket,  NeYo’s head, Diddy’s name changing habits and on and on.

Taraji P Henson came on to present an award with her nipples poking out of her sequined dress.  Chris brown took the award for best male RnB artist. A well deserved award if you ask me. He’s definitely put some major work in. Kill yourselves #RihannaNavy

Man of the moment , Rick Ross (like it or not) came on to perform Aston Martin Music, thankfully he had a shirt on and of course, DJ khaled came on to scream our heads off alongside Ace Hood  and Lil Wayne, performing  “hustle Hard”. Asides DJ Khaled, it was a pretty decent performance

Remember Tracy Ellis Ross who played Joan on the urban show Girlfriends and Malcom  who played Theo on The Cosby Show? Apparently BET decided to use the Award show to promote their *yawn* Jaden and Willow smith “both” won the Young Star award and as usual Willow was dressed like a gypsy. Don’t know whos her stylist but whoever the person is he/she should be stabbed with a rusted knife

Enter Kevin hart roasting on Rick Ross and his breasts, and a really funny skit titled “Real Husbands of Hollywood”

Keri Hilson came on to present the Best female Hip Hop Artist  along side some guy who I do not know. His suit was two sizes over-sized. Funny thing about this award was Nicki Minaj was nominated along side some very low budged females who obviously had no hope whatsoever of wining. So when she was called up to receive the award, First thing she said (with all the sarcasm in the world) was “I can’t believe I won”. Way to go Nicki!

The recently slimmed Jill Scott came on to perform some really boring sleep inducing number and all I could see where her huge huge breasts! #ilike!

The Best Group award went to Diddy Dirty Money! Words cannot explain how fucked up this shit is. Diddy Dirty Money is a group? Anyways, old man Diddy (or is it “Swag” now) and his ghetto sidekicks proudly received the award.

Chris brown’s performance was ODD, First off the pants were weird and he had a jacket with no sleeves. Of course he performed “Look at me now” alongside Busta Rhymes minus Lil Wayne

The Cast of “The Game” came on to present the Best Collabo Award and promptly made a fool of themselves. Nice. The Award went to Chris Brown and crew for “Look at me now”

Kanye West won the best Hip Hop artist award. No complaints here on that one. Yeezy had the absolutely best album in the past 1 year. He egotistically wasn’t on hand to receive the award. O well!

Best New Artiste Award went to Wiz Khalifa who made a show of kissing professional groupie Amber Rose. He was definitely not the best artiste on the nominee list but he definitely was the artiste with the biggest buzz so it was deserved I guess

BET treated the ladies to half naked men themed Performances from Trey Songs and Kelly Rowland followed by a tribute to the armed forces and the BET CEO and her ugly dress giving a humanitarian award to Steve Harvey. Is it just me or does he look like Mr Potato head??  Just saying!

Mary Mary took home the best gospel album award. I would like to point out though that nominees were not called out. Only at the BETs! The Award was presented by “The Braxtons” Yes Toni Braxton’s entire family! How they came to be worthy of camera time I would never understand. Reality TV and it’s evils.

D’banj took home the best International act award in the African category. Thumbs up Mo’hits

Wasn’t the best award show, but wasn’t the worst either;

Nobody was super glammed up dress wise. I’ guessing the idea was to be very urban with it. Wish Kevin hart had gotten more face time. The Patti Labelle tribute was too long. Geez!  BET should realize that their viewership does not include people who listened to Patti.  The lady just went on and on calling out people who no one watching the show had any idea who they were.

There was too much Chris Brownism  if you ask me. I would have also loved to see Lupe Fiasco perform. But knowing Lupe I’m sure he probably said something derogatory about BET, so no surprise there.

The best performance was Beyonce’s but sadly she was away in England, so the performance was streamed live.

Riddle me this though: How do you make a name for yourself by screaming your name over and over again on a song?

Young O; Bout to Blow!!

Young O is regarded as the one of the next artists to emerge from the underground to the mainstream in 2011. Originally from Nigeria, Young O moved to South London at a young age and it’s been up and away ever since.  

Young O recognised his talents for getting behind a microphone at an early age; after establishing his lyrical content along with heavy punch-lines and a complex delivery pattern Young O started the club circuit performing at local clubs and bars around London, often battling and winning against other MC’s. After working the club scene and battling against other MC’s Young felt it was time to show his fans exactly what he was about, by producing and recording club banger, “Someone Like You” which won rave reviews with many mainstream tastemakers & Dj’s.

It was inevitable that an artist of Young’s calibre would soon be picked up by a management company who would look to work and develop his talents behind a microphone. In January 2009 Young O signed a management deal in the hope that they could further his career as an artist. Young’s management soon had him working in the studio with a number of producers searching for the right sound; the first single they found themselves all raving about was “So Cold” a track produced by Mr Lonely; this  was to be released as Young’s first single under his new management. Young O was soon travelling all over the U.K to clubs and festivals promoting his eagerly awaited single; on occasions he found himself supporting established artists such as: Tinchy Stryder, Dj Ironic and Skepta to name but a few.

In Early 2010 Young decided he wanted to take a new approach and create a new sound than that of his last single so together with his managers they enlisted top producer Silvastone to work on a new sound. Silvastone having produced for the likes of Blak Twang, Sway & Wretch32 developed a sound that was exactly what Young was looking for, however being the artist that Young is, he found himself wanting to develop this further so contacted another 5 artists all to feature on “Never Back Down,” with him. Young O along with, Jammin, Wizz, Ozzie B, Lefty London and Roachee all took to the studio to lay their vocals for this hit single. Having notched up a huge amount of support on the Internet, TV & Radio, a digital distribution in place with Island Def Jam, Never Back Down is seen as the most defining of his career to date!

Within a month of “Never Back Down” being played on BBC 1xtra, Young O signed a lucrative publishing deal with Digital 6 as well as with one of the top booking agencies within the UK - Mission Control which have the likes of Lethal Bizzle, Lisa Maffia and Kimberly Wyatt on their books.

Now with a sponsorship deal with PumaYoung O is currently working hard in the studio with the likes of Lisa Maffia, Casso Blax and Dirty Danger.

He’s currently booked to perform at Live Fest, which is the biggest indoor festival in the UK,. This is no small feat for an artiste who was underground just 3 short years ago. Live Fest’s twitter page was hounded for about 24hours by Young O fans, fondly called “Youngsters” until Live Fest organisers decided to include him in the line up.

In addition to Live Fest, he’s also performing at the Thurrock Festival and also The Fenland Festival

The most amazing thing about Young O’s meteoric rise is the immense support from his fans. This can be explained in two simple words RAW TALENT! From the first listen you can tell this is not your regular hyped up artiste but rather a really talented young man who is currently teetering on the brink of stardom. Young O is currently working on the video to his next single; Tesco Truck (sure to be another banger).

Check out his latest offering ; Au' Voir Ft Danger here  

Go on the KixManagement youtube channel here and you'll find all of Young's work on there.

Follow Young O on twitter: @youngoartist

Young O is definitely one to watch out for in 2011.

I Do Not Like Notjustok.com

I do not like Notjustok.com. Yes I said it. I do not like notjustok.com. Neither do I like Gidilounge nor any of those look alike sites.

Why? There’s too much crap music that makes it on to those websites while people who actually have the talent and really great songs don’t get a chance to get on the website.

For the longest time I have had a certain dislike for the websites like this. Every day you hear stories from upcoming artistes about how their song was shunned by the admins at notjustok or whatever other site they try to get on.

A few days ago, whilst surfing the net and trying to keep up with what Nigerian music is out there I realized something. Do you know that nowhere in NotjustOk’s misson statement does it say the website is dedicated to hosting songs from upcoming artistes? Neither does Gidilounge or any other heavy traffic music blog/website promise such. So my question is where did this idea come from anyway? Who put it in the head of underground artistes that Notjustok and Co exist to promote upcoming artistes?

You have to realize that regardless of all the talk, the website is first and foremost a business and not an NGO. The first criterion to be a business is to make profit. That been said, whatever means Mola and Ovie (and every other admin who runs a website like this) can utilize to make profit would be explored. Either getting paid for promoting any artiste and I mean any artiste or selling A-list artistes albums. So if you are still sending emails to these admins then it means you really are not ready to take your music seriously!

Every day you hear things on the radio like, “new artistes hour” yeah right! That’s whole load of horse crap. I can tell u from experience that if you send in your CD’s it would languish in some carton under their table there. People who get on those shows are either personal friends of the DJ or show producer or OAP or Label managed artistes. So don’t dull.

Take Rebecca Black and her “Friday” single. That song was probably the worst song ever put on YouTube. Even worse than majela’s shenanigans, but she’s made over 1.5million dollars from that’s song. How did she do it? Well YouTube is free innit? Why not upload your track and drive traffic to your song. Remember no one can chase your dreams for you.

A lot of artistes out there have over 2,000 some Facebook friends. Why not post a link to your song on facebook and go from there? Say of your 2000 friends , 1000 of them see the post and re post it to their say 500 friends each who in turn re post it. You do the maths! Even not just ok cannot boast of such hits if you eventually succeed in getting your song on their website.

Everyday some lame hash tag (#) thing trends on twitter. How do you think that happens?  Why can’t that be your name in front of the hash tag? The reality is promo companies and website would very soon become obsolete.

Set up a reverbnation.com page! Its absolutely free. Link it up to your Facebook and twitter accounts. I can’t tell u how many times I have clicked on someone’s twitter handle just from something a friend retweeted and from there spent about a good amount of time listening to their songs on reverbnation or sound cloud. That’s one more fan they can call their own (provided the songs good sha)

We all have friends who have blogs. Trust me I know from experience that every blogger needs content. So why not give them a concise bio and a link to your songs on 4shared.com or reverbnation/soundcloud.  There are blogs like towsynuab.blogspot.com, that cater to just upcoming artistes and they are always looking to put buzz worthy artistes on for free.

These are just a few examples of how you can create your own buzz for free and in some cases get paid. YouTube and Reverbnation are decent revenue sharing opportunities. Fact is no Label that’s worth anything is willing to sign anyone who does not have at least a decent enough body of work and buzz.

Remember, nothing good comes easy.  Quit sitting on your a** and hating on WizKid and his axe. Do something! Get a day job! Save up and get in the studio. Keep honing your craft believe me one day it would pay-off .  If you believe in yourself so much why not put it all on the line.

On the other hand you can keep emailing notjustok.com. One day God will answer your prayer.

Beyonce - 4: Review

Beyoncé’s fourth studio album leaked online on Tuesday.  I would like to point out here that I am not at this time admitting that I own a copy of the album, digital or hardcopy. All I am willing to admit is I had a listening session.

Anyways, I am not Beyoncé’s biggest fan neither do I own any of her previous albums. I do however respect her work ethic and the quality of music she has put out so far. From “Crazy in Love” with Jay Z  to “ Baby Boy” with Sean Paul to “Irreplaceable”, not forgetting “Single Ladies” You have to admit that she has put out some good music.

When I finally listened to the first single off the album sometime in April, I was totally and utterly disappointed. I am not saying the song in itself was horrible but I really did expect more. C’mon Bee you could do better than that cheap ass beat and lackluster lyrics. When I saw the video, all I could do was wonder whose idea this was. The entirety of the song was a repetition of the phrase “who run the world, girls” with a dash of MutherF***ing thrown in at regular intervals. At this point I wasn’t looking forward to the album.

Few weeks later, on the American Idol finale, she debuted the opening track on the album titled 1+1, introducing it as her favorite song on the album. The track was almost a capella. All you hear is her lovely voice and the piano. On the track she sings “Make love to me” in such an orgasmic voice (Yes please) and I felt like this was more the Beyoncé I know. Thus my Faith was restored.

Fast-forward to the 7^th of June when i “attended a private listening session” a full 3 weeks before the album release date. Really  Columbia??? Jay Z?? smh. Anyway, the 12 track album opened with 1+1 and from then on its all R n B ish  ballards which beyonce took advantage of to remind us that she really can sing. “I miss you”  “Best thing I ever had”, Tracks 3 and 4 respectively, are tracks that you would definitely have on repeat. I see those 2 topping the charts in a couple of weeks.

Mr Andre 3000 showed up on the 5^th track “Party” which was produced by Kanyewest. Trust 3000 was the only high point on the song. But with a good video, I see a lot of potential here. I know everyone who has any idea what good music is would definitely want to see Andre 3000. His study leave at Julliard sure left me missing him *cough* (No homo)

Track 6 “Rather die young” and 7 “ start over” are your standard R n B singing/crying. Nothing to see here. *skip* *skip*

The 8^th track titled “Love on top” has a retro 80’s feel. That I am sure everyone would definitely enjoy for the nostalgic feel. Thumbs up Bee!

Track 9 titled “Countdown” is probably my best track on the album. Maybe I am just a certified hiphop head. Jay Z or Kanye  had better jump on this one and make a remix. Honestly this is the only track I would have on repeat on the whole album. Just keeping it real folks! *repeat*

Track 10 “End of time” is the weed smoking cousin of “Run the world”. Curiously though I think she sampled Fela Kuti on this song. Regardless though it wasn’t enough to salvage this junk. Just too awful! *skip*

“ I Was Here” which is the 11^th track is such an oddly placed track. But it’s hauntingly beautiful. Ok maybe I’ll have 2 tracks on repeat. I actually liked this one. Beyoncé went all out on this. All Beef aside, she’s got some amazing pipes on her. *repeat*

The album closes with the horror show that is “Run the World”. How or why this song made the album I would never understand. *Skip to track 9*

Overall, it’s not one of Bee’s best body of work, but it’s not horrible either. I think the whole idea behind the album was going back to her R n B roots, which if you ask me is not a bad idea, due to the fact that that genre is relatively dormant at the moment. Is this the album that would re-awaken the genre? Abso-fuckin-lutely not! But it is a step in the right direction.

Obvious in the album is the fact that it seems like she really has an alter ego. The album is split in 2 parts one very tame part and one Fierce and energetic no nonsense part. I am inclined to say I like the Sasha Fierce half better but then again with songs like “Run the World” im left wondering if Sasha has gone tone deaf.

A lot of planning obviously went into the album, and I am sure that is the reason why the album is more R n B than the border-line pop everyone was expecting and in my opinion the reason for that is very simple RIRI!!! The album is totally different from RiRi’s . So anyone who compares both album should probably go get a CAT scan. Or just get a cat and stick to listening to its annoying  purrings and leave music alone.  It was never a competition in the first place anyways and it seems like Beyoncé has realized that.

Long story short. If you love RnB then please get the album. It’s decent and a good listen. Only 2 good songs on there for me but feel free to let me know what you think when you eventually “buy” the album. If you decide not to buy the album, then please let me know what recent RnB album you have in your collection. NeYo? R.Kelly? smh

See ya!

Follow blog about it on twitter @blogblogaboutit

Ashton Kutcher taking over

Its been confirmed people! Ashton Kutcher would be replacing Charlie sheen on Two and a Half men.
We have to agree though that Ashton Kutcher is younger and well known, with a huge twitter following and was named by Times as one of the most influential people. Ashton has been in comedy all his life so hes not new to the genre. Question is does all of this translate to instant success? I don't think so.
Where it gets tricky is the fact that the show in itself was and would always be "The Charlie Sheen show". Changing the lead a show like this has never worked out well. Not to mention the fact that this show was probably the biggest show on TV, commanding $200,000 for a 30second ad slot.
Chuck Lorre has to make sure he's got his storyline down pat. If he doesn't, Two and a Half Men fans would cry wolf so fast his head would spin. Another point is, Demi Moore's husband A.K.A Ashton Kutcher  should make sure the show is fool proof or else his career would tank after this.
He should be himself and not try to be Charlie Sheen, but then again can we tell the viewers to watch the new episodes without looking at Ashton and comparing him to Charlie? Nope!
That being said, a cool million per episode is not bad and i am glad he's getting big bucks.
Sheen on the other hand, Fresh off his US tour (talk about rock star fantasies) has been mouthing off as to how badly the show would do without him. sorry Charlie "Not Winning"
I know for a fact that the maiden episode starring Mr Demi Moore oops sorry Ashton Kutcher would pull in at least 14 million viewers. From there on out its sink or swim!
Who's winning now Charlie?

SHOWS GETTING THE BOOT!

As you may have noticed, quite a number of TV shows are winding down for the season or closing shop altogether. I have put together a list of the shows  I have watched at some point and those I am currently watching that are getting the boot from their various networks and of course my thoughts on what shows you should bootleg/buy the DVD, what shows you shouldn’t.

Here we go!

All My Children (ABC)

Ending after forty-one seasons, final episode on 9/??/2011

ABC has confirmed that new episodes of this life consuming show would not be shot, and frankly speaking it’s about time. Who still watches this show?

Verdict: don’t bother looking for the DVD’s; I’m sure you can only find the VHS!

Big Love(HBO)

Ending after five seasons, final episode on 3/20/2011

In a way I sort of loved this show and the uniqueness about it. I’ll be the first to admit that it was stretched far longer than necessary but I’m glad that it’s over it.

Verdict: If you are interested in polygamy or you watch the Sister wives reality TV show, then this is right up your alley. Have fun.

Brothers & Sisters(ABC)

Ending after five seasons, final episode on 5/8/2011

Sad to see the Walkers go, but all good things must end at some point. Lovely drama

Verdict: Get it please!!!! Awesome Show!

The Cape(NBC)

Ending after one season, final episode on 2/28/2011

I have no idea why this Super Hero themed show did so badly. I saw a few episodes and it wasn’t that bad. I think it was all about bad timing. In my opinion I think the public has had enough super-heroism for now so please Hollywood, cool off!

Verdict: Good Riddance

Entourage(HBO)

Ending after eight seasons, final episode on 9/11/2011

Entourage is a great series about life in the movie world and all the drama that comes with it; it’s fresh and genuinely funny and has a lot of A-list celebrity face time. I hear a movie is in the works so let’s see how that pans out.

Verdict: If Hollywood is your bread and butter, then this is for you.

The Event(NBC)

Ending after one season, final episode on 5/23/2011

After all the hype NBC would not be airing this Lost/24/Flash Forward look alike next season. The whole plot in itself was as weak 8 day old, sitting on the counter with the top off coke. Aliens living among us, near assassination of the president… Blah. Blah Blah.

Verdict: Don’t bother!

Glory Daze(TBS)

Ending after one season, final episode on 1/18/2011

Glory Daze was fun, but as soon as I saw the first episode I knew it would not last. Who makes a series on college life and all the partying and binge drinking? Make it into a movie and shut the hell up!

Verdict: B***h please!

Hannah Montana(DSNY)

Ending after four seasons, final episode on 1/16/2011

My lil sis and her friends would miss this one. Never saw an episode, never will. It would be syndicated and re-run for a long long time to come.

Verdict: If you really love this one, just watch Disney Channel all day. I can guarantee you would see a couple of episodes every day.

Hellcats(CW)

Ending after one season, final episode on 5/17/2011

I tried following this one but couldn’t bring myself to watching a complete episode. Think “Bring it on” revamped for TV. Glad it’s done and over with. Hopefully it stays that way.

Verdict: Strictly for cheerleader wannabes YUK!

House Of Payne(TBA)

Ending after seven seasons, final episode on TBA

Call me a hater but I wouldn’t touch anything Tyler Perry with a 10 foot pole unless of course if said pole was to beat him up with. I cannot believe this show stayed this long on TV. The jokes are corny and forced and there’s just an artificial air about it

Verdict: Pure black garbage!

Larry King Live (CNN)

Ending after twenty-six seasons, final episode on 12/19/2010

I’m not going to act like I saw a great number of episodes of this but the few I did see were astounding and very professionally done. Everything about Larry King was really perfect and you would never know how much you miss Larry till you see Piers Morgan’s travesty!

Verdict: Legen-----dary * Barney Stintson voice*

Law & Order: Criminal Intent(USA)

Ending after ten seasons, final episode on 6/26/2011

In my opinion, I think there are too many cop and lawyer shows on TV. Its your regular whodunit type show. So no surprises here.

Verdict: If you have seen one.. You have seen ‘em all!

Law & Order: Los Angeles(NBC)

Ending after one season, final episode on 6/27/2011

Don’t you just hate spin offs

Verdict: don’t you just hate spin offs

Lights Out(FX)

Ending after one season, final episode on 4/5/2011

Tell me why I would want to watch a TV show about boxing? It bothers me though that such doomed to fail ideas make it to big networks. Were they banking on the success of the “Fighter”? I guess we would never know

Verdict: Glad this is off the air.

Mad Love(CBS)

Ending after one season, final episode on 5/16/2011

Don’t know what happened with this one, but it wasn’t that bad. It does look like a hybrid form of “How I met your mother” to be honest. The cast are 4 naturally funny people, but the storyline is not worth writing about. Who lives in NY and is on first name basis with the elevator operator at the empire state building? Who lives in NY and requents the observation deck of the empire state building? Talk about cheesy!

Verdict: I’ll sit this one out. Thanks.  As long as HIMYM is still kicking ass, I’ll pass

Mr. Sunshine(ABC)

Ending after one season, final episode on 4/6/2011

What a waste! Matthew Perry’s new gig was a total bust in my book. Very unlikable characters and watching him just makes you miss chandler from friends even more. For a “comedy”, it was definitely far from funny. We still love you Matt but we deserve better. Thank you.

Verdict: Don’t touch this one!

No Ordinary Family(ABC)

Ending after one season, final episode on 4/5/2011

I really really did look forward to this one! Sooo bad. Boy! Was I disappointed Another super hero fail, and a major one at that. A family of super heroes!?? Pull the other leg please. Bad bad story line and a poor plot was what did this one in. What sucks though is they had pretty decent graphics. Glad this is off my TV.

Verdict: If you want to punch yourself in the eye, then by all means go ahead!

One Life To Live (ABC)

Ending after forty-three seasons, final episode on 1/??/2012

No comment. You be the judge. Or better yet ask your folks if its any good. I have no clue

Verdict: Please see above

The Oprah Winfrey Show (SYN)

Ending after twenty-five seasons, final episode on 5/25/2011

What more can I say…. It’s Oprah! Enough said!

Verdict: Oprah?

Outsourced(NBC)

Ending after one season, final episode on 5/12/2011

I really loved this show! It was one of my favorites in recent times.  Set in a call center in India, the pilot was laugh out loud funny. The first 10 episodes are to die for. From then on it just kept getting more and more watered down. Very lovable characters and I would surely miss them. Feels like the characters didn’t just quite stick together after a while.

Verdict: Great for laughs, trust me you won’t be disappointed

Running Wilde(FOX)

Ending after one season, final episode on 5/21/2011

In one word; JUNK! Don’t watch this show please! This is like a model for bad comedies. As long as your shows not as bad as this I think you would be just ok. What totally drives me off the wall about this show is the voice over is done by the mute kid!! Really? Mute? Smh.

Verdict: I dare you to get past the first 15 mins of the pilot!

Sarah Palin's Alaska(TLC)

Ending after one season, final episode on 1/9/2011

Do we really need a Sarah Palin show? I think Tina Fey is doing a great job at that already. Ill rather watch paint dry.

Verdict: No thanks.  I’ll watch SNL instead

Secret Diary Of A Call Girl(SHO)

Ending after four seasons, final episode on 5/26/2011

The perv in me sure loves this one. Not much depth to it but I just loved it for some reason.

Verdict: I’ll miss you *sob*

$#*! My Dad Says(CBS)

Ending after one season, final episode on 2/17/2011

BOOOO! Not funny at all. This is the sitcom all other sitcoms would make fun off at the playground. Who bases a show on a Twitter account? Granted the tweets might be funny, but translating them to a script is something entirely different.

Verdict: why bother? "The Big Bang Theory" "How I Met Your Mother," and "Two and a Half men" run this B***h

Smallville(CW)

Ending after ten seasons, final episode on 5/13/2011

Smallville, Smallville *sigh* where do I start? Why did this show ever stay on this long. All my sweet memories of superman would forever be tainted by this crap. The show went off the rails somewhere around the 4th season and I bet people who still watched it just did because they felt they had invested too much time into it. 10 seasons?? Geez!

Verdict: Feel free to get the box set if you like. It’s a lot to watch though. You could stop at the 4th season when you have had your fill.

The Suite Life On Deck(DSNY)

Ending after three seasons, final episode on 5/6/2011

Honestly, I actually loved the original version of this show. The twins: Zack and Cody are true deviants and I guess that’s why it appeals to me.  Why they decided to move the set to a ship I would never understand. Just one more reason for me to hate spin-offs

Verdict: Get the original: Suite life of Zack and Cody

Supernanny(ABC)

Ending after seven seasons, final episode on 3/18/2011

Bad kids/bad parents getting training from a “Super Nanny” . Errrr sorry, im not buying that. just another reality show designed to make you lose brain points. Glad to see this one die. 7 seasons is just overkill.

Terriers(FX)

Ending after one season, final episode on 12/1/2010

This show looked like it had potential. Loved the spin they put on the whole private investigator premise. Sad to see this one go. Why Fox? Why?

Verdict: Must see!

Undercovers(NBC)

Undercovers (let it remain under the covers)

Ending after one season, final episode on 12/29/2010

This show sucks! Seriously don’t go near this one! Whose idea was this anyway? Maybe the idea was to market the sexiness of the lead characters but it just wasn’t enough to save the show

Verdict: if you got the DVD already, make a Frisbee out of it!

Wizards Of Waverly Place(DSNY)

Ending after four seasons, final episode on TBA

Kids everywhere would miss this one, but I’m guessing the main reason why this is ending is because the lead actors/actresses have all grown up. Hope to see them do bigger things soon. They look like a talented bunch.

Verdict: something to watch with your little siblings

What are your thoughts? Let me know!

Did You Know....

Did you know that in faraway japan, the first Sunday in April is reserved for the Japanese penis festival… ok ok. Maybe I exaggerated a little. It’s really called the “Japanese Fertility Festival"

The demon and a pink shrine!

This 300 some year old festival is filled with bizarre, phallic shaped everything. From sweets, to rice cakes, to hats and other souvenirs. The Festival is based on a story of a girl who was possessed by a demon or something of the sort and castrated “2” men on her wedding night. 2? You ask? Well that’s what the story says. Long story short they had to build a metal phallic shaped something to thrust all the way in there to kill the demon (Gosh! I can’t keep a straight face writing this). I do not know if the plan worked or if the girl was possessed at all in the first place, neither do I know why she had “2” men in her bed on her wedding night. Legend has it that a shrine was built to house her and save perverted men from taking a dive in her demon infested pool.

Another version of the story tells that the festival is centered around a penis venerating shrine where prostitutes from the days of yaw would go to pray for protection against STDs.

hats

The Festival starts off with a performance from a trainee geisha and then prayers are offered to the penis shaped shrines and later the shrines are carried across town amidst dancing and singing.

The festival attracts more than just those interested in fighting STDs; it also draws Japanese couples looking for good fertility luck, a large gay/lesbian crowd, lots of proud locals, and scores of interested foreigners who come to gawk at the gigantic phallus

Despite the earthquake a few months ago, the festival still took place, albeit a little low key. The spokesman for the festival said the turnout was great despite the situation and its glad to see that Japanese people can still smile.

In my opinion though, this is just one more oddity about the japs and their sexuality. Regardless visitors say the festival is fun and most of the proceeds now go to HIV research 

Who wants to come with me next year?

16 and Preggers

I’m pretty sure everyone knows how much I hate reality TV by now, but I just got really ticked off with this “16 and pregnant” show on MTV. Like what the…..??

First off, did the meaning of the acronym "MTV" change to mean something other than Music Television? These days they barely show any music at all. At the most 2 or 3 hours tops. Again, what the….?

Then throw in this “16 and pregnant” show and Teen Mom 1 &2 and now I am really ticked off. I understand that anyone can make money from TV these days, for Christ sake Ashton Kutcher is still making movies and we all know he’s border line retarded (you didn’t hear that from me) not to mention “Ruby” who’s making money from her morbid obesity, which makes me wonder though, if she lost all that weight wouldn’t it mean her source of income would dry up?  Won’t the show come to an end? So if she doesn’t lose any weight, isn’t the aim of the show defeated? Or am I just losing my mind?

Anyways I am not here to talk about all the weird TV shows I don’t understand (trust me we would be here for the whole day).

So back to the issue. Who exactly is this 16 and pregnant show made for? Impressionable kids from 11 to 18? And what exactly can we take away from this show? Humor?  Entertainment? Education? Morals? I repeat, what the …..?

Fact is, I am not the most morally upright person or whatever, but I really need to know the reason behind that show and what the plan was when it put on air. What’s funny is the show is such a big hit they just keep building and building spin-offs on its “success”

A week ago I was reading something on 2 of the girls on the current show. The first one, whose name I don’t know so I would refer to from here on as “Idiot 1” apparently went on a quest to get knocked up to be on the show. You can imagine how happy she was when she found out she was knocked up at 15. Smh

The other girl (who would be referred to as “Idiot 2”) is friends with Idiot 1. The story goes that. When idiot 2 found out that idiot 1 was pregnant she got hold of idiot 1’s sonogram pictures and showed it to her boyfriend, telling him she was already pregnant so they should ditch the protection. Boyfriend to Idiot 2 ditched protection and the rest as they say is history. Their reward for this extreme idiocy? a TV show! Awesome!

What sucks even more is, MTV is not even keeping it real on the show. Not one bit. They never talk about the cost of raising a kid in the dead economy of today. They never talk about the medical issues that come with underage pregnancies. The never talk about how the parents really feel about their kids. Neither do they talk about the implications having a kid so early in life has on your life plans in general. They don’t talk about child support and all the drama that comes with that. Name one friend of yours who got knocked up in high school who you stayed friends with? None. So who are the friends of these people? I know for a fact most parents would ban you from even thinking about such a person or walking on the same side of the street with either one of Idiot 1 or 2. Hell, my mom would have had me switch schools.

Most of the girls on the show, drop out of school, get married and all that, yet the parents are so cool about this? Me I don’t understand o! Some even recently got plastic surgery and tabloids and magazines seem to be spurring them on. Gone are the days of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston on Magazine covers. Now its Teen Mom this, 16 and pregnant that! And the public cries more!! more!! more!!

These moms, who are still “kids” themselves regardless of how you look at it, are still acting like kids. Getting drunk, arrested, hitting each other and all the other things “teenagers” do. So what exactly is the next generation looking like? “oh just get knocked up at 15, MTV would throw six figures and a camera in your face”. Sad. Sad. Sad

My question is why glamorize such a sensitive issue? Do we really need this show on TV? Maybe the show started out with good intentions but it has since gone off rails. I would have expected that after the first season the show should have been re-evaluated but that’s not the case. On comes the spin off “Teen Mom”. The second season of which drew almost 4million viewers. Why won’t the economy be shot to shit when no one seems to be focusing on the important stuff. Cancer? Aids, Global warming, PDP… etc

This portrayal of teen pregnancy and its allure and simplicity that the people in TV land have decided to bless us with fails miserably to convey the true hardships and emotional stress that comes with the territory.

Regardless, here goes one more idea for all you who want to be famous.  If you are between the ages of 14 and 16, get knocked up and contact me..ill hook you up with MTV for a percentage of course.

I Want to be Famous Pleaseeee!!!

Been quite a number of days and let me just say I missed writing on here but you know what they say about condition and cray-fish!

Anyways I have decided to dedicate this post to everyone out there that dreams of being famous and is still going about it the wrong way. “The wrong way” in this context includes but is not limited to, actually having talent, honing said talent, learning a skill, inventing something noteworthy or humanitarian service of some sort.

If you are relying on your talent taking you to Hollywood, I suggest you go get a degree and a bank job when you are done dreaming. Gone are those days hun.

Here’s a step by step guide to help you achieve superstardom:

First off, are your folks rich? Oh they are? I’m not talking serious minded rich people oh! The Carlos Slims and Co. By rich I mean your parent’s money must be inversely proportional to their morals/sense. If you have such parents half your work is done. The presence of such wealth would convince you; Little Miss Ordinary, that you are the best thing since sliced bread.

Now that we have established that your folks are rolling in the green, next we have to work on your looks. Acting classes you say? No! No! No! I already cancelled your acting classes. I booked a 3pm appointment for you with Doctor Gay sorry I meant Rey. He would make some sketches with his marker and chop away at all that unsightly mess that is your waist line, fix your boobs and butt and I think we can get one of those metro-sexuals (who invented that word) to add some color to your hair…I’m thinking blond! You like?

Ah! You now look like every other blond wanna be superstar in Hollywood. We are almost there. We need to revamp how you think. You must convince yourself you are a star. Be rude and impolite. Don’t take off your sunglasses even at night or at the movies. Act like you don’t ever take a poop. Say every politically incorrect thing you can think off.

By now you should be pretty famous. Huh? You are still not? Ok let’s bring out the big guns.

You need to make a sex tape! Tufiakwa! You say? You better get with the program. Look what a sex tape did for Kim K. No scratch that. Look what a sex tape did for the entire Kardashian family! Here’s what we would do. Pick a guy, any guy really, he doesn’t have to be famous. Someone preferably hung please. You don't have to be particularly good in bed either. It doesn't matter, its the idea that counts. Let said tape simmer for a bit in your vault. Leak it on the internet and blame Mr. hung cock for the leak or you could say the tape was stolen from your “safe”.  We would then copyright it and make money off it. Noooo its not porn!! its just two people having sex and getting paid for it. 

Next we ride this sexual wave to red carpet events and high profile parties. A wardrobe malfunction would not be a bad idea at this point. Not that I am pushing you to whore-dom but you have to be in it to win it!

You are still not trending on twitter?? Shhhh don’t cry! I have a backup plan. 

Get arrested! Yes! not for something major like killing someone please! (You are not famous enough to get away with that…yet) something minor. Driving under the influence, Possession of drugs, you know something not to mild but wild enough to get the media buzzing. TMZ would make sure the world hears about your arrest not to mention Perez Hilton would totally bump that girl from "The Hills" off his radar, thus translating to…“you must to trend utunu!” oh and remember to look good for your mug shot! Trust me that’s the money shot! 

Right after your court drama and subsequent stint in rehab (trust me your Chihuahua and blond hair gave you a get out of jail free card) Ryan Seacrest should be calling about a reality show or some mess like that.

From here on out its up up and away. Your own fragrance (even if u have terrible B.O) an album (don’t worry some washed up musician or two would support you) your own clothing line (even if it’s too horrible for you to wear) Interviews by the truck load (I already called Wendy Williams she said “how you doing”) Some charity thing or another (act like you give a s**t please) A tell all book (I’ll tell the writer to make it very emotional)

Now you are a star!!!! Now the world can share from your abundance of “talent”

*Sips wine* aaaahhhh. Am I good or what!?

Black Men and Drag!

ewwww

When did everyone decide that black men in drag should be considered as funny? Seriously people it is so not funny or maybe it’s just me.

For the last decade or so black comedians have decided that it’s either you go drag or go home. When Dave Chappelle told Oprah on her show that he would not dress like a woman to be funny everyone thought he was being difficult.

Most of you don’t know that Chiwetel Ejiofor, Yes the Nigerian, actually played dress up in a movie titled “kinky Boots”. The same dude who played the scientist on 2012 I kid you not. I know some of you would want to see that movie. Don’t bother!

Martin Lawrence recent reboot of the Big Momma series has not in any way helped me feel better about this whole drag gag thing. Alas! For some reason the movie was thrust upon me and it totally sucked. Unlike the previous movies that had just Martin playing dress up, in this one he has an accomplice. I am not even going to bother going in-depth as to why the movie sucked and how weak the story line was. In conclusion, Don’t bother going to see it.

Don’t forget Tyler perry is donning the fat suit again to reprise his role as Madea, and a double dose of Shenene and Wanda; Martin Lawrence and Jamie Foxx respectively in  a bank robbery themed movie or something to that effect. All I can say is “why Lord why?!”

In my opinion these movies are degrading and slowly creating a disturbing image of older black women. In all my time over here, I am yet to meet a black woman who looks remotely like Tyler Perry’s Madea or Eddie Murphy’s Rasputia.

What sucks is when these comedians decide to dress in drag, they don’t try to bring out the beauty or softness in femininity, rather they reach for the frumpiest and flowery looking gowns they can find and the ugliest looking wigs. They would rather play an uncultured black female than an educated one or would rather be disgustingly obese like we need any more obese role models for black people. So please tell me how is that funny? And who exactly are these movies aimed at?  Teenagers? Middle aged black house wives? Young men between the ages of 25 and 45? Who exactly?

What bothers me is a lot of these parts could have been played by black women and we would have been perfectly fine with it. E.g why couldn’t Eddie Murphy replace Mama Klump on “The Nutty Professor” with Monique? I wouldn’t have noticed any difference? Was it any funnier with Eddie Murphy? Nope!. If Tyler Perry had cast a female as Madea would I have complained? Nope! So why is drag funny? Or am I missing something?

Honestly,these movies are born from a lack of idea or concept and they just go to show how shallow black people have become. The worst part is the young up coming generation of black comedians are already getting introduced into this part of the trade. Case in point; Brandon T Jackson. I actually thought he played a good role in Bow wow’s “Lottery Ticket” even though the movie bombed. Come to find out he’s playing dress up with old man or should I say woman Martin Lawrence! Oh! So it a rite of passage now huh? What a shame.

Whatever lessons we are supposed to learn from these movies (trust me they always try to infuse some lame lesson or another) is eventually lost in the obscenities and ridiculousness of the movie scenes. Take for example Madea running from the cops and cussing like a sailor. Or Wanda or Shenene trying to find love.

It won’t be long now before the Gay folk association or the Registered cross dressers would make some noise about all of this. Or maybe the same black people would make a fuss when a white man decides to play dress up as a black woman. Just you wait to hear the uproar!

Not that I am expecting this drag-dom to stop anytime soon, no thanks to the million and one movie goers who think it’s funny but all I am saying is, it’s so not funny.

Do you?