Jam (Turn it Up) #FAIL!

Kim kardashian released a new single sometime this week. Yes! The same one in the sex tape with ray j, yes! The same one who posed nude for play boy then cried that she didn’t know she would be nude in the photos..err bright much?  Its "play boy” Yes!

Like a billion other people in the world, I never expected the song to be worth the bird shit on my windshield but out of curiosity, like many of you who listened  to the song, I decided to give it a listen.

The result? Pain and suffering! Damn Kim?  What was the plan? Cause worldwide eye gouging? Im pretty sure everyone knows how much I hate reality tv and their “stars” but listening to that song spurned a new level of hate.

There are 5 people to blame for Kim’s new f**k up:

Ciara: (The Initiator), Not that she is any more relevant than Terry G at a CCNA conference, but I assumed she would have some sense and not go around spreading false hope. Apparently she told Kim that The Dream was anxious to work with her. Whilst Kim had her doubts, she convinced her that it was about the experience and expressing herself through music? Does she even know what pop music means? You want to express yourself, get a blog, a diary, anythingSmh. Now we are stuck with the ear-homicidal music that makes me envy deaf people. Shame on you Ciara

The Dream: (The facilitator), Dude do you even know what thin ice you are walking on in the R n B community?  With your beady eyes, and natural auto tune voice. Why would you lie to Kim for petes sake? If you wanted to bag her you should have asked Ray J how. He didn’t have to go to extreme lengths to hit that. He even made a tape while he was at it. That’s a smart bro, he knew where Kim’s talents lay and he worked with that. Like it or not he launched Kim into stardom in my opinion. What sucks is the way The Dream went on and on about making a hit track.  Now I have Paris Hilton’s "Stars are Blind" (which apparently is a very good song by the way) back in my playlist. Shame on you, The Dream.

Ryan Seacrest: (Supporters Club), If there’s anyone who works closely with Kim its probably this guy. Oh wait he works with a whole bunch of reality “stars” maybe that’s why Kim making music slipped under his radar. If I was cashing out heavily from Kim and her family shenanigans I would at least do all I can to protect the brand. you know, the whole sand in my garri and all.

Mama Kardarshian: (Manager), As kims manager she should have seen this coming. Or were you tricked into letting her go ahead with this failed project? (AKA obasanjo) I have always known her to be very exploiting of kim and the rest of the litter but seriously, she failed this time. What’s worse is I’m sure there would be an episode on “Keeping up with the Kardashians” where kim would play the song for the family and they would all nod and say “it’s perfect” “Grammy material” “wow” and all other jargon. I know we all have to support family, but once in a while the truth is not such a bad idea.

Finally

The Almighty Kanye West: (The Endorser) OK. This is what actually hurt the most. This is the same guy who acts so perfect and obviously has a good grasp on music. This is the same guy who made a fuss when Taylor Swift won an award he thought she didn’t deserve. The same guy who can have 13 diverse artistes on a song and it would sound so perfect and put together. So I don’t know what went wrong here? Why did you have anything to do with this junk? I hear you are making an appearance in the video? I am sure when time comes to shoot the video you would form busy..I hope.

Kim, Kim, Kim stick to whatever it is you do best. Tweeting for $10,000 a tweet, going under Dr Rey’s Knife, making sex tapes, posing for playboy, or whatever, Please do not go near a studio ever again. unless of course T.pain is making a reboot of "Sex in the Studio" We all F**K up sometimes so we would give you this one.

Still on the lookout for one positive thing about that song! Anybody?