WHAT'S HAPPENING?

heavily photo-shopped!

First off I would like to thank everyone who takes time out to read my rants and raves on here and my opinion about any and everything. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks

It’s been quite a few days since I have posted anything on here and believe me I have been itching to post something about all that’s been going on so far but sadly my PC decided to take a bow. But I’m back so it’s all good.

I have decided to cram all that’s been going on  into one post. Here we go!

A few days ago there were rumors online that Majela; the vagina queen was auditioning for x- factor! For those who don’t know Majela, just do a YouTube search for “Queen of gene-talia” and you would be thoroughly educated on the vagina and all other nether region anatomy by way of song and dance. P.S please ensure your young ones/kids and folks are out of the room before running said search.  Anyways, it turns out it’s actually not a rumor, she’s actually auditioning. Click here to watch the audition video. Even the reporter who did the brief interview had to do a runner when the Queen of gene-talia broke into song.  I do not know if this Majela is female or just a guy in drag. I do not know if she is kidding or this is actually a career path for her. I do not know where on God good earth she resides. But one thing I do know is that Simon Cowell would have a filled day with this one. I can already imagine the look on his face. Talk about chasing your dreams.

In other news, Charlie sheen is getting crazier by the day. At this point I don’t know if I should find this funny or worry about the dude. To be honest it was funny when it first started out but right now it’s just scary. Watching his recent U-stream appearances he seems like a man whose losing his grip on reality.

How can you keep chanting winning! Winning! , when you have lost custody of your kids? When everyone thinks you are going bonkers?  And what’s with all the Goddess talk? Is it a sister wife situation? Not to mention the hobos he’s decided to surround himself with. Another thing that surprises me is his never ending river of quotes: “I am a high priest Vatican assassin warlock” “if you are not in sheens corner you are with the trolls” I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total freaking rock star from Mars” and the most recent; “An apol”. According to Charlie it means a half apology. God save us! As at Wednesday afternoon he’s garnered over 2.4 million followers on twitter and this has done nothing but increase twitter’s overall market value. Look out for Google or Microsoft making an offer soon. I am watching to see how the sheen-tuation gets resolved. Till then I would sip some tiger blood and keep watching U- stream. #winning.

Remember when I said Gwyneth Paltrow might decide to pursue a music career? Well you can call me Paul the octopus because I was right. The lip-synching/ miming diva has apparently snagged a recording deal with Atlantic records. At least the country movie and Grammy and Oscar performances did not go to waste. The deal is reportedly worth a whopping $900,000. Although,there are reports that she's not signed the deal yet, but we all know it’s all about waiting for the right opportunity to make the announcement. My take? Anything, I mean anything is better than Kim Kardarshian!

The internet was taken over sometime last week by Chris brown, this time not for beating up anyone sadly or should I say gladly. Well, his ex GF apparently leaked nude pictures of him, schlong and all, to some website. Even though the pic was more tasteful than Wande Coal’s *coughs*. It was still shocking,  considering how he recently decided to do “a Sisquo” with is hair. Makes you wonder though; what is it with blonde hair and nudity? Name any blonde and I am pretty sure there’s a nude pic or two floating around somewhere. Don’t get me wrong I think he’s got talent and I am not one of the Chris brown bashers, but dude! Just when we it seemed like you were getting your act together, you went and did this! #epic fail

In other related #fails, Lindsey Lohan or LiLo as she is popularly known would need nothing short of a miracle the magnitude of The feeding of the 5000, to get out of serving jail time. It looks like the Grand Theft charges finally stuck and her host of lawyers couldn’t secure a plea deal. So the one time child star is looking at a minimum of 6 months. Would keep you posted when the sentencing is done tomorrow. I wonder though, would jail time really change anything or make a difference in her lifestyle? But then again I think she should do time though, even if it’s just to restore some faith in the LA judicial system.

Still waiting to see where Mel-TDOWN Gibson ends up!

Cya.