Thursday, May 19, 2011

Ashton Kutcher taking over

Its been confirmed people! Ashton Kutcher would be replacing Charlie sheen on Two and a Half men.
We have to agree though that Ashton Kutcher is younger and well known, with a huge twitter following and was named by Times as one of the most influential people. Ashton has been in comedy all his life so hes not new to the genre. Question is does all of this translate to instant success? I don't think so.
Where it gets tricky is the fact that the show in itself was and would always be "The Charlie Sheen show". Changing the lead a show like this has never worked out well. Not to mention the fact that this show was probably the biggest show on TV, commanding $200,000 for a 30second ad slot.
Chuck Lorre has to make sure he's got his storyline down pat. If he doesn't, Two and a Half Men fans would cry wolf so fast his head would spin. Another point is, Demi Moore's husband A.K.A Ashton Kutcher  should make sure the show is fool proof or else his career would tank after this.
He should be himself and not try to be Charlie Sheen, but then again can we tell the viewers to watch the new episodes without looking at Ashton and comparing him to Charlie? Nope!
That being said, a cool million per episode is not bad and i am glad he's getting big bucks.
Sheen on the other hand, Fresh off his US tour (talk about rock star fantasies) has been mouthing off as to how badly the show would do without him. sorry Charlie "Not Winning"
I know for a fact that the maiden episode starring Mr Demi Moore oops sorry Ashton Kutcher would pull in at least 14 million viewers. From there on out its sink or swim!
Who's winning now Charlie?


As you may have noticed, quite a number of TV shows are winding down for the season or closing shop altogether. I have put together a list of the shows  I have watched at some point and those I am currently watching that are getting the boot from their various networks and of course my thoughts on what shows you should bootleg/buy the DVD, what shows you shouldn’t.
Here we go!

All My Children (ABC)
Ending after forty-one seasons, final episode on 9/??/2011
ABC has confirmed that new episodes of this life consuming show would not be shot, and frankly speaking it’s about time. Who still watches this show?
Verdict: don’t bother looking for the DVD’s; I’m sure you can only find the VHS!

Big Love(HBO)
Ending after five seasons, final episode on 3/20/2011
In a way I sort of loved this show and the uniqueness about it. I’ll be the first to admit that it was stretched far longer than necessary but I’m glad that it’s over it.
Verdict: If you are interested in polygamy or you watch the Sister wives reality TV show, then this is right up your alley. Have fun.

Brothers & Sisters(ABC)
Ending after five seasons, final episode on 5/8/2011
Sad to see the Walkers go, but all good things must end at some point. Lovely drama
Verdict: Get it please!!!! Awesome Show!

The Cape(NBC)
Ending after one season, final episode on 2/28/2011
I have no idea why this Super Hero themed show did so badly. I saw a few episodes and it wasn’t that bad. I think it was all about bad timing. In my opinion I think the public has had enough super-heroism for now so please Hollywood, cool off!
Verdict: Good Riddance

Ending after eight seasons, final episode on 9/11/2011
Entourage is a great series about life in the movie world and all the drama that comes with it; it’s fresh and genuinely funny and has a lot of A-list celebrity face time. I hear a movie is in the works so let’s see how that pans out.
Verdict: If Hollywood is your bread and butter, then this is for you.

The Event(NBC)
Ending after one season, final episode on 5/23/2011
After all the hype NBC would not be airing this Lost/24/Flash Forward look alike next season. The whole plot in itself was as weak 8 day old, sitting on the counter with the top off coke. Aliens living among us, near assassination of the president… Blah. Blah Blah.
Verdict: Don’t bother!

Glory Daze(TBS)
Ending after one season, final episode on 1/18/2011
Glory Daze was fun, but as soon as I saw the first episode I knew it would not last. Who makes a series on college life and all the partying and binge drinking? Make it into a movie and shut the hell up!
Verdict: B***h please!

Hannah Montana(DSNY)
Ending after four seasons, final episode on 1/16/2011
My lil sis and her friends would miss this one. Never saw an episode, never will. It would be syndicated and re-run for a long long time to come.
Verdict: If you really love this one, just watch Disney Channel all day. I can guarantee you would see a couple of episodes every day.

Ending after one season, final episode on 5/17/2011
I tried following this one but couldn’t bring myself to watching a complete episode. Think “Bring it on” revamped for TV. Glad it’s done and over with. Hopefully it stays that way.
Verdict: Strictly for cheerleader wannabes YUK!

House Of Payne(TBA)
Ending after seven seasons, final episode on TBA
Call me a hater but I wouldn’t touch anything Tyler Perry with a 10 foot pole unless of course if said pole was to beat him up with. I cannot believe this show stayed this long on TV. The jokes are corny and forced and there’s just an artificial air about it
Verdict: Pure black garbage!

Larry King Live (CNN)
Ending after twenty-six seasons, final episode on 12/19/2010
I’m not going to act like I saw a great number of episodes of this but the few I did see were astounding and very professionally done. Everything about Larry King was really perfect and you would never know how much you miss Larry till you see Piers Morgan’s travesty!
Verdict: Legen-----dary * Barney Stintson voice*

Law & Order: Criminal Intent(USA)
Ending after ten seasons, final episode on 6/26/2011
In my opinion, I think there are too many cop and lawyer shows on TV. Its your regular whodunit type show. So no surprises here.
Verdict: If you have seen one.. You have seen ‘em all!

Law & Order: Los Angeles(NBC)
Ending after one season, final episode on 6/27/2011
Don’t you just hate spin offs
Verdict: don’t you just hate spin offs

Lights Out(FX)
Ending after one season, final episode on 4/5/2011
Tell me why I would want to watch a TV show about boxing? It bothers me though that such doomed to fail ideas make it to big networks. Were they banking on the success of the “Fighter”? I guess we would never know
Verdict: Glad this is off the air.

Mad Love(CBS)
Ending after one season, final episode on 5/16/2011
Don’t know what happened with this one, but it wasn’t that bad. It does look like a hybrid form of “How I met your mother” to be honest. The cast are 4 naturally funny people, but the storyline is not worth writing about. Who lives in NY and is on first name basis with the elevator operator at the empire state building? Who lives in NY and requents the observation deck of the empire state building? Talk about cheesy!
Verdict: I’ll sit this one out. Thanks.  As long as HIMYM is still kicking ass, I’ll pass

Mr. Sunshine(ABC)
Ending after one season, final episode on 4/6/2011
What a waste! Matthew Perry’s new gig was a total bust in my book. Very unlikable characters and watching him just makes you miss chandler from friends even more. For a “comedy”, it was definitely far from funny. We still love you Matt but we deserve better. Thank you.
Verdict: Don’t touch this one!

No Ordinary Family(ABC)
Ending after one season, final episode on 4/5/2011
I really really did look forward to this one! Sooo bad. Boy! Was I disappointed Another super hero fail, and a major one at that. A family of super heroes!?? Pull the other leg please. Bad bad story line and a poor plot was what did this one in. What sucks though is they had pretty decent graphics. Glad this is off my TV.
Verdict: If you want to punch yourself in the eye, then by all means go ahead!

One Life To Live (ABC)
Ending after forty-three seasons, final episode on 1/??/2012
No comment. You be the judge. Or better yet ask your folks if its any good. I have no clue
Verdict: Please see above

The Oprah Winfrey Show (SYN)
Ending after twenty-five seasons, final episode on 5/25/2011
What more can I say…. It’s Oprah! Enough said!
Verdict: Oprah?

Ending after one season, final episode on 5/12/2011
I really loved this show! It was one of my favorites in recent times.  Set in a call center in India, the pilot was laugh out loud funny. The first 10 episodes are to die for. From then on it just kept getting more and more watered down. Very lovable characters and I would surely miss them. Feels like the characters didn’t just quite stick together after a while.
Verdict: Great for laughs, trust me you won’t be disappointed

Running Wilde(FOX)
Ending after one season, final episode on 5/21/2011
In one word; JUNK! Don’t watch this show please! This is like a model for bad comedies. As long as your shows not as bad as this I think you would be just ok. What totally drives me off the wall about this show is the voice over is done by the mute kid!! Really? Mute? Smh.
Verdict: I dare you to get past the first 15 mins of the pilot!

Sarah Palin's Alaska(TLC)
Ending after one season, final episode on 1/9/2011
Do we really need a Sarah Palin show? I think Tina Fey is doing a great job at that already. Ill rather watch paint dry.
Verdict: No thanks.  I’ll watch SNL instead

Secret Diary Of A Call Girl(SHO)
Ending after four seasons, final episode on 5/26/2011
The perv in me sure loves this one. Not much depth to it but I just loved it for some reason.
Verdict: I’ll miss you *sob*

$#*! My Dad Says(CBS)
Ending after one season, final episode on 2/17/2011
BOOOO! Not funny at all. This is the sitcom all other sitcoms would make fun off at the playground. Who bases a show on a Twitter account? Granted the tweets might be funny, but translating them to a script is something entirely different.
Verdict: why bother? "The Big Bang Theory" "How I Met Your Mother," and "Two and a Half men" run this B***h

Ending after ten seasons, final episode on 5/13/2011
Smallville, Smallville *sigh* where do I start? Why did this show ever stay on this long. All my sweet memories of superman would forever be tainted by this crap. The show went off the rails somewhere around the 4th season and I bet people who still watched it just did because they felt they had invested too much time into it. 10 seasons?? Geez!
Verdict: Feel free to get the box set if you like. It’s a lot to watch though. You could stop at the 4th season when you have had your fill.

The Suite Life On Deck(DSNY)
Ending after three seasons, final episode on 5/6/2011
Honestly, I actually loved the original version of this show. The twins: Zack and Cody are true deviants and I guess that’s why it appeals to me.  Why they decided to move the set to a ship I would never understand. Just one more reason for me to hate spin-offs
Verdict: Get the original: Suite life of Zack and Cody

Ending after seven seasons, final episode on 3/18/2011
Bad kids/bad parents getting training from a “Super Nanny” . Errrr sorry, im not buying that. just another reality show designed to make you lose brain points. Glad to see this one die. 7 seasons is just overkill.

Ending after one season, final episode on 12/1/2010
This show looked like it had potential. Loved the spin they put on the whole private investigator premise. Sad to see this one go. Why Fox? Why?
Verdict: Must see!

Undercovers (let it remain under the covers)
Ending after one season, final episode on 12/29/2010
This show sucks! Seriously don’t go near this one! Whose idea was this anyway? Maybe the idea was to market the sexiness of the lead characters but it just wasn’t enough to save the show
Verdict: if you got the DVD already, make a Frisbee out of it!

Wizards Of Waverly Place(DSNY)
Ending after four seasons, final episode on TBA
Kids everywhere would miss this one, but I’m guessing the main reason why this is ending is because the lead actors/actresses have all grown up. Hope to see them do bigger things soon. They look like a talented bunch.
Verdict: something to watch with your little siblings

What are your thoughts? Let me know!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Did You Know....

Did you know that in faraway japan, the first Sunday in April is reserved for the Japanese penis festival… ok ok. Maybe I exaggerated a little. It’s really called the “Japanese Fertility Festival"

The demon and a pink shrine!
This 300 some year old festival is filled with bizarre, phallic shaped everything. From sweets, to rice cakes, to hats and other souvenirs. The Festival is based on a story of a girl who was possessed by a demon or something of the sort and castrated “2” men on her wedding night. 2? You ask? Well that’s what the story says. Long story short they had to build a metal phallic shaped something to thrust all the way in there to kill the demon (Gosh! I can’t keep a straight face writing this). I do not know if the plan worked or if the girl was possessed at all in the first place, neither do I know why she had “2” men in her bed on her wedding night. Legend has it that a shrine was built to house her and save perverted men from taking a dive in her demon infested pool.
Another version of the story tells that the festival is centered around a penis venerating shrine where prostitutes from the days of yaw would go to pray for protection against STDs.
The Festival starts off with a performance from a trainee geisha and then prayers are offered to the penis shaped shrines and later the shrines are carried across town amidst dancing and singing.
The festival attracts more than just those interested in fighting STDs; it also draws Japanese couples looking for good fertility luck, a large gay/lesbian crowd, lots of proud locals, and scores of interested foreigners who come to gawk at the gigantic phallus
Despite the earthquake a few months ago, the festival still took place, albeit a little low key. The spokesman for the festival said the turnout was great despite the situation and its glad to see that Japanese people can still smile.
In my opinion though, this is just one more oddity about the japs and their sexuality. Regardless visitors say the festival is fun and most of the proceeds now go to HIV research 
Who wants to come with me next year?

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

16 and Preggers

I’m pretty sure everyone knows how much I hate reality TV by now, but I just got really ticked off with this “16 and pregnant” show on MTV. Like what the…..??
First off, did the meaning of the acronym "MTV" change to mean something other than Music Television? These days they barely show any music at all. At the most 2 or 3 hours tops. Again, what the….?
Then throw in this “16 and pregnant” show and Teen Mom 1 &2 and now I am really ticked off. I understand that anyone can make money from TV these days, for Christ sake Ashton Kutcher is still making movies and we all know he’s border line retarded (you didn’t hear that from me) not to mention “Ruby” who’s making money from her morbid obesity, which makes me wonder though, if she lost all that weight wouldn’t it mean her source of income would dry up?  Won’t the show come to an end? So if she doesn’t lose any weight, isn’t the aim of the show defeated? Or am I just losing my mind?
Anyways I am not here to talk about all the weird TV shows I don’t understand (trust me we would be here for the whole day).
So back to the issue. Who exactly is this 16 and pregnant show made for? Impressionable kids from 11 to 18? And what exactly can we take away from this show? Humor?  Entertainment? Education? Morals? I repeat, what the …..?
Fact is, I am not the most morally upright person or whatever, but I really need to know the reason behind that show and what the plan was when it put on air. What’s funny is the show is such a big hit they just keep building and building spin-offs on its “success”
A week ago I was reading something on 2 of the girls on the current show. The first one, whose name I don’t know so I would refer to from here on as “Idiot 1” apparently went on a quest to get knocked up to be on the show. You can imagine how happy she was when she found out she was knocked up at 15. Smh
The other girl (who would be referred to as “Idiot 2”) is friends with Idiot 1. The story goes that. When idiot 2 found out that idiot 1 was pregnant she got hold of idiot 1’s sonogram pictures and showed it to her boyfriend, telling him she was already pregnant so they should ditch the protection. Boyfriend to Idiot 2 ditched protection and the rest as they say is history. Their reward for this extreme idiocy? a TV show! Awesome!
What sucks even more is, MTV is not even keeping it real on the show. Not one bit. They never talk about the cost of raising a kid in the dead economy of today. They never talk about the medical issues that come with underage pregnancies. The never talk about how the parents really feel about their kids. Neither do they talk about the implications having a kid so early in life has on your life plans in general. They don’t talk about child support and all the drama that comes with that. Name one friend of yours who got knocked up in high school who you stayed friends with? None. So who are the friends of these people? I know for a fact most parents would ban you from even thinking about such a person or walking on the same side of the street with either one of Idiot 1 or 2. Hell, my mom would have had me switch schools.
Most of the girls on the show, drop out of school, get married and all that, yet the parents are so cool about this? Me I don’t understand o! Some even recently got plastic surgery and tabloids and magazines seem to be spurring them on. Gone are the days of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston on Magazine covers. Now its Teen Mom this, 16 and pregnant that! And the public cries more!! more!! more!!
These moms, who are still “kids” themselves regardless of how you look at it, are still acting like kids. Getting drunk, arrested, hitting each other and all the other things “teenagers” do. So what exactly is the next generation looking like? “oh just get knocked up at 15, MTV would throw six figures and a camera in your face”. Sad. Sad. Sad
My question is why glamorize such a sensitive issue? Do we really need this show on TV? Maybe the show started out with good intentions but it has since gone off rails. I would have expected that after the first season the show should have been re-evaluated but that’s not the case. On comes the spin off “Teen Mom”. The second season of which drew almost 4million viewers. Why won’t the economy be shot to shit when no one seems to be focusing on the important stuff. Cancer? Aids, Global warming, PDP… etc
This portrayal of teen pregnancy and its allure and simplicity that the people in TV land have decided to bless us with fails miserably to convey the true hardships and emotional stress that comes with the territory.
Regardless, here goes one more idea for all you who want to be famous.  If you are between the ages of 14 and 16, get knocked up and contact me..ill hook you up with MTV for a percentage of course.