The 53rd Grammy Awards Show

Music’s biggest night kicked off with a fabulous red carpet event and if you didn’t get a Grammy invite I’m guessing we can pretty much conclude that your showbiz career is officially over.

From Willow Smith looking like a hobo, to Kathy Perry’s grandmother getting support from a totally bedazzled walking stick to Jennifer Lopez and marc Anthony looking very awkward, not to mention Eva Longoria looking hot, bankrupt or not. The most amazing red carpet entrance was undoubtedly lady GaGa’s incubation egg thingy! It feels like she tops herself every time. She was in this silver looking egg that was carried shoulder high by attendants dressed in gold. Talk about making an entrance

Anyways, here are the highlights:

The show opened with LL cool J coming on stage to announce the first set of performance amidst his lip licking. Christina Aguilera made up for the super bowl junk by delivering a mind blowing performance, that I am almost tempted to say she’s one of the best singers out there. She was joined by the super slim Jennifer Hudson (is it just me or did her head get bigger?), Yolanda Adams and 2 others I can’t remember now, all performing Aretha franklins songs. Not one weak link on there, and it was a fantastic opener.

Best pop song by a group/Duo award was won by train for the song hey soul Sister *shrugs*. The recently gay Ricky Martin introduced the incubating GaGa for a very eerie performance of her latest single “born this way”. Can you believe she still came in the egg? All I could do as the performance progressed was hope she didn’t ditch her already scanty clothes. Thank God she stayed clothed all through. But seriously people, lady GaGa can’t sing period! Hey! Did she end the performance with waka?

After some country chic came on to perform a song about cows or something about farm life/love, Muse, an English alternative rock band from Teignmouth, Devon came on to perform and thankfully it brought some life back to the Grammys.

B.o.B, Janelle Monae, and Bruno Mars came on to perform, starting off with a slowed version of “Beautiful Girls” followed by Bruno Mars performing “Grenade” in some retro black and white version, then Janelle with the sexy hair performing “Cold War” and I’ll say she was the best of the trio.

Best female country vocal award went to the random chic, who performed earlier. Her name’s actually Miranda Lambert for The house that built me. God knows I have never heard that song or the country girl before.

Usher and Justin Bieber have a very “touching” moment about when they first met which was an opener for their performance. Lots of samurai clad drummers doing acrobatics whilst the one with the amazing hair performed “Never say Never”. Oh there goes Jaden smith doing some rap thing. Ok so maybe Bieber can sing sha. Old man Usher returns to perform OMG better than the super bowl version. Same dance moves though. So where’s Willow Smith in all of this?

Hey! What’s that badly dressed chic from NCIS doing on here? She’s not even dressed any better. I though the NCIS thing was an act.smh. Best rock album went to Muse for The Resistance. Thumbs up!

Best pop album award went to Lady GaGa for the “Fame monster” and as usual her dress was a topic on its own. It was a black a$$ and boob plastercine number. She took her time to say all the thank yous in the world. She deserved the award of all those nominated

One of my favorite bands Mumford and sons performed little lion man with the whole banjo thing, and it was totally amazing followed by the Avett brothers and good old Bob Dylan and all 3 acts were totally rocking. Only at the Grammys baby!

Best country album award went to Lady Antebellum for Need You Now. Not like there’s much talent out in the country side but someone’s got to win right?

Cee-lo green came on to perform “F**k you” with some Muppets and Gwyneth Paltrow. Let me just say the performance didn’t do the song justice but the surprise was that Gwyneth Paltrow can actually sing? I won’t be surprised if she decides an album is the way to go next.

The Grammy for Song of the year went to Lady Antebellum for Need You Now. Even though some people might argue that the band is not a country band, rather it’s a pop band with country instruments thrown in once in a while but seriously I would rather they won than Miranda Lambert. Whatever happened to “Love the way you lie”? Enough said.

Rihanna fought off bronchitis and laryngitis to perform “love the way you lie part 2” with Eminem. (No Chris Brown to halt her performance with blows this time)The performance had the crowd going nuts. Finally we got to see Dr Dre on stage after so long and honestly it wasn’t something of note, unless you count his extremely white shoes

Esperanza Spalding beat out Justin Bieber and drake to claim the best new artist award. It’s very refreshing though, it’s not often to you see a genre like Jazz winning this award. Or maybe I am just secretly happy Bieber didn’t win.

No surprise in the Best rap album category, Eminem took that one with Recovery. Short and to the point acceptance speech. He didn’t look excited or surprised. Geez! he’s got a couple of those gramophone things at home already. No biggy.

Rihanna and drake performed a reggae/Caribbean inspired “what’s my name” with some hell fire theme and a lot of waist breaking moves from RiRi. Lovely performance. Drake was over excited. Cant blame the brother.

One of the most coveted awards Record of the year went to Lady Antebellum, for Need you Now.  Beating out even Jay Z/Keys “Empire State of Mind”, and Em/RiRi’s “Love the way you lie” . I have my reservations on this one to be honest. Even B.o.B and Bruno Mars was nominated for this one too. Need you now was performed at the Grammys in 2010 so it’s not exactly “fresh” or should I say 2011 material. *Sighs*

Album of the year went to the Arcade Fire for the Suburbs. Like seriously did you hear anything during their performance? These Canadians sef. I guess ill go get the album and see what the fuss is about

Anyways that’s how it all played out tonight. This year's show has 16 musical production numbers, compared to just nine awards being handed out over the course of a ceremony slated to run three hours. The big winner on the night was Lady Antebellum and the best performance in my opinion was RiRI’s. #OKBYE

click here for a complete list of winners